I have come to dread dinnertime. Lately I never know when I meal I make will meet with my children's approval. Fortunately for me, I've stopped caring!
Long ago I decided to stop being a short order cook; my girls would have to eat what I make, or not eat. I often modify what I serve them so that it was more palatable for them. For example, If I were making Balsamic chicken, I take some chicken out of the pan before adding the balsamic sauce. My standard rule is that they must try a bite, if they don't like it still, they can have a bowl of cereal but then no dessert. I think it is a pretty fair system. My children, usually Megan, don't agree.
The other night I made this yummy lime chicken taco recipe I found here. I served the girls theirs without the salsa and corn. Sarah ate her taco and didn't complain. I don't think she'll want to eat one again, but I was so proud of her for trying something new. Megan was a different story. She refused to eat it before she even saw it. She immediately requested a bowl of cheerios for her dinner. I told her that she had to try a bit of chicken first. She sat on the table complaining and refusing to eat anything.
By now the rest of us were done eating and I was cleaning up the kitchen. I told her that if she hadn't eaten anything by the time I was done, she would get nothing to eat until breakfast. Megan was steadfast in her pursuit of a bowl of cheerios. This was a battle of wills and I was determined not to back down. Little ms. headstrong finally decided that she would try the chicken. I popped a piece in her mouth, she chewed, swallowed and announced she didn't like it and said, "can I have my cheerios now?"
I reminded Megan that she would not be able to eat dessert later in the evening. Upon hearing that she told us that she would skip the cheerios and eat her dessert later. I reminded her that since she did not eat the dinner I made she can't have dessert. She was absolutely devastated and collapsed into a tantrum. She eventually came around and decided that she would eat her cheerios.
She ate the cheerios and the rest of the evening continued as usual, until just before bed. When her sister was having her dessert, Megan kept telling us that she was starving, "starving to death". She even fell out on the floor and played dead! The melodramatics continued for some time. She was being so noisy and difficult. When I asked her to stop talking so I could listen to the presidential news conference her response was, "If you give me dessert I'll stop". Oh sure, let me just give into an almost 5 year-old's irrational demands in the midst of a tantrum!
She eventually calmed down and crawled into my lap. Within 10 minutes she was fast asleep. I have a feeling that Megan is really struggling with this whole growing up thing. She is desperately trying to hold onto being a little kid and trying so hard not to grow up, but then at times wanting to be a big girl. I know that this roller coaster ride has only just begun so we have a long road ahead of us. It may kill us both!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Tough Love- update
Well, after a few nights of Crying-It-Out, I think we have reached a milestone. Emma has been sleeping through the night almost every night!
Since I last posted, her new pattern seems to be sleep through the night for two to three nights in a row and then she'll have a "bad" night. Usually she'll just get up once at some point halfway through the night.
I really wasn't expecting her sleep issues to resolve so quickly! The funny thing is Pat and I were just discussing this yesterday morning. He asked me if I felt anymore rested during the day. Unfortunately for both of us, the answer is no! Not sure why my back still hurts and I feel tired still, but hopefully that will resolve itself too!
Since I last posted, her new pattern seems to be sleep through the night for two to three nights in a row and then she'll have a "bad" night. Usually she'll just get up once at some point halfway through the night.
I really wasn't expecting her sleep issues to resolve so quickly! The funny thing is Pat and I were just discussing this yesterday morning. He asked me if I felt anymore rested during the day. Unfortunately for both of us, the answer is no! Not sure why my back still hurts and I feel tired still, but hopefully that will resolve itself too!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Tough Love
Six months ago I committed one of the cardinal sins of parenthood - I starting bringing Emma, then almost 6 months old, into our bed at night. I knew exactly what I was doing, especially since I'm not a first time mom. I started bringing her in the bed shortly after my meltdown because neither of us was sleeping and I was beginning to lose my mind. She would wake every few hours and it was taking it's toll. My rationale behind this strategic move was that I could just nurse her in the bed and she and I would be able to get back to sleep more quickly. Don't get me wrong, she didn't spend the whole night in our bed. She would start out in her crib and sleep from about 8:30 pm to around 12:30-1:00 am. I would then get her out of the crib and bring her back to bed with me.
I mentioned it at her 6month doctor's appointment and the pediatrician made sure to let me know that this was going to be a habit that Emma would not break on her own. I convinced myself that it was a temporary fix and as soon as she was old enough to sleep through the night, we would be ok.
At her 9 month appointment, the pediatrician asked about it. Evidently she had written in her notes "tell mom it's time to cry it out". I actually saw it written in the file! I hadn't intended to still be doing this at 9months, but I hadn't prepared myself for the battle needed to break the habit.
Well, this past week was all it took to help push me over the edge and decide once and for all to get Emma out of my bed! Sunday night, she tossed and turned and seemed to want to nurse all night. Monday night, it got worse. I only got about 4 hours of sleep and I'm not sure Emma did much better. Tuesday night was the last straw. She fought with me all night. She wanted to nurse, but didn't want to nurse. She rolled around and I was unable to sleep. Finally at 2:30, when I broke down in tears, Pat took her downstairs where she was unable to smell my milk and fussed a bit until she fell asleep. The two of them slept in his recliner for a few hours while I got 2 hours of sleep upstairs before my alarm went off at 4:45am!
It was Wednesday morning that the two of us decided we needed to stop the madness and we were going to practice tough love! That night she got up a few times, but I only went in twice. We let her "cry it out" a bit and I am proud to say that she slept all night in her own bed. It has gotten better each night since. I hope that by her 12 month appointment I can tell the pediatrician that Emma is sleeping all night in her own bed!
I mentioned it at her 6month doctor's appointment and the pediatrician made sure to let me know that this was going to be a habit that Emma would not break on her own. I convinced myself that it was a temporary fix and as soon as she was old enough to sleep through the night, we would be ok.
At her 9 month appointment, the pediatrician asked about it. Evidently she had written in her notes "tell mom it's time to cry it out". I actually saw it written in the file! I hadn't intended to still be doing this at 9months, but I hadn't prepared myself for the battle needed to break the habit.
Well, this past week was all it took to help push me over the edge and decide once and for all to get Emma out of my bed! Sunday night, she tossed and turned and seemed to want to nurse all night. Monday night, it got worse. I only got about 4 hours of sleep and I'm not sure Emma did much better. Tuesday night was the last straw. She fought with me all night. She wanted to nurse, but didn't want to nurse. She rolled around and I was unable to sleep. Finally at 2:30, when I broke down in tears, Pat took her downstairs where she was unable to smell my milk and fussed a bit until she fell asleep. The two of them slept in his recliner for a few hours while I got 2 hours of sleep upstairs before my alarm went off at 4:45am!
It was Wednesday morning that the two of us decided we needed to stop the madness and we were going to practice tough love! That night she got up a few times, but I only went in twice. We let her "cry it out" a bit and I am proud to say that she slept all night in her own bed. It has gotten better each night since. I hope that by her 12 month appointment I can tell the pediatrician that Emma is sleeping all night in her own bed!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Weigh-In Wednesday
I've skipped a few weigh-ins lately, but am back in the saddle! Now that February is over, my major stress at work has lessened and I feel "normal" again. Just thought I'd pop in and comment that I have finally lost 5lbs! It has only taken 2 months, but I did it!
I decided that I would give up something for Lent this year. I didn't do it last year because I was pregnant, but since I am trying to lose a few, this was a good year to "sacrifice". When I began to think about what to give up I immediately thought of ice cream or chocolate. I pondered these two things and decided that I am not a total glutton for punishment and could not do both. Then I realized, I am a wimp and can't handle the thought of no chocolate. So my idea of sacrifice is to give up my nightly bowl of ice cream.
I announced my plans to one of my girlfriends at work and she then decided that she would give up chocolate. Another co-worker got in on the whole "lent" thing and she decided no chocolate too. Yesterday we were all talking and they decided to broaden it to all sweets. I felt totally guilty with just giving up my ice cream. So now I have relented and am doing my best to go along with them on the whole non-sweets thing.
I may regret this later when I'm totally jonesing for my chocolate fix.
I decided that I would give up something for Lent this year. I didn't do it last year because I was pregnant, but since I am trying to lose a few, this was a good year to "sacrifice". When I began to think about what to give up I immediately thought of ice cream or chocolate. I pondered these two things and decided that I am not a total glutton for punishment and could not do both. Then I realized, I am a wimp and can't handle the thought of no chocolate. So my idea of sacrifice is to give up my nightly bowl of ice cream.
I announced my plans to one of my girlfriends at work and she then decided that she would give up chocolate. Another co-worker got in on the whole "lent" thing and she decided no chocolate too. Yesterday we were all talking and they decided to broaden it to all sweets. I felt totally guilty with just giving up my ice cream. So now I have relented and am doing my best to go along with them on the whole non-sweets thing.
I may regret this later when I'm totally jonesing for my chocolate fix.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Lost
***I wrote this post a few weeks ago but was afraid to publish it. I decided to just go ahead and expose myself anyway!***
I am lost.
Not in a literal sense. Unlike some people I know, I can usually find my way around town. I feel I have lost myself. I came to a realization today that I am just a shell of my former self. I am "Mommy" 24/7 and aside from the 8+ hours a day I am at work, I am always on duty. I have a wonderful husband who does a great deal of the parenting and household duties, but he is Dad and I am Mom. No matter what some may say, there is a huge difference.
I have a co-worker that has always talked about how she has to have a life outside of her kids. She finds time for herself, even if it is at 4:30 in the morning. She is a devoted mom and gives a lot of her energy to them and to her kids at school, but she has interests and activities that are separate from both her work and home life. Over the past few years of listening to her, I haven't always agreed. I viewed "motherhood" and "self" as one in the same. I couldn't view myself in total without taking these two things into consideration. My lives had merged into one and that is how I felt they should be; a kind of evolution over the years.
Today, I had an epiphany. She was right! I should have other aspects of my life. I cannot be happy just being mommy. I am tired of having the same arguments with my kids, I am tired of telling them to clean up, I am tired of thinking about what to make for dinner, I am tired of making dinner, I am tired...I need a break. There are so many times that my husband has gone out to play poker, or to watch a football game, or just relaxed while I had the kids. I want that time, I want to have time away from my duties as "Mommy". I need a girls night out.
Then it hit me. I am ashamed to admit this, but I have a very loose circle of friends. I don't have anyone that I can call in times of dire frustration when I need to get out of the house and have some "me" time.
How did this happen? I have never had a large circle of friends, but I would always find time to connect with friends. But somehow life got in the way. Happy Hour events became daycare pickups. Weekend dinners became harder and harder to schedule.
How can I recover? I am so jealous of those I hear talk of their girlfriends. I have a few friends that I consider close, but I don't know if they consider me close. We moved into our current house almost 3 years ago and It seemed as if I saw close relationships among other mothers everywhere. I knew it would take time to form these same relationships, but I didn't think I would still feel like an outsider after all this time. I am not an outgoing person and find it hard to push myself into a conversation and then find a way to make a relationship last longer than the next school activity, soccer practice or swim meet.
Maybe I am not lost, but my social life is. 'I don't know how to break this rut I am in, but I need to find a way, soon, or I may lose my mind.
Or maybe this is nothing but a hormonally induced meltdown.
I am lost.
Not in a literal sense. Unlike some people I know, I can usually find my way around town. I feel I have lost myself. I came to a realization today that I am just a shell of my former self. I am "Mommy" 24/7 and aside from the 8+ hours a day I am at work, I am always on duty. I have a wonderful husband who does a great deal of the parenting and household duties, but he is Dad and I am Mom. No matter what some may say, there is a huge difference.
I have a co-worker that has always talked about how she has to have a life outside of her kids. She finds time for herself, even if it is at 4:30 in the morning. She is a devoted mom and gives a lot of her energy to them and to her kids at school, but she has interests and activities that are separate from both her work and home life. Over the past few years of listening to her, I haven't always agreed. I viewed "motherhood" and "self" as one in the same. I couldn't view myself in total without taking these two things into consideration. My lives had merged into one and that is how I felt they should be; a kind of evolution over the years.
Today, I had an epiphany. She was right! I should have other aspects of my life. I cannot be happy just being mommy. I am tired of having the same arguments with my kids, I am tired of telling them to clean up, I am tired of thinking about what to make for dinner, I am tired of making dinner, I am tired...I need a break. There are so many times that my husband has gone out to play poker, or to watch a football game, or just relaxed while I had the kids. I want that time, I want to have time away from my duties as "Mommy". I need a girls night out.
Then it hit me. I am ashamed to admit this, but I have a very loose circle of friends. I don't have anyone that I can call in times of dire frustration when I need to get out of the house and have some "me" time.
How did this happen? I have never had a large circle of friends, but I would always find time to connect with friends. But somehow life got in the way. Happy Hour events became daycare pickups. Weekend dinners became harder and harder to schedule.
How can I recover? I am so jealous of those I hear talk of their girlfriends. I have a few friends that I consider close, but I don't know if they consider me close. We moved into our current house almost 3 years ago and It seemed as if I saw close relationships among other mothers everywhere. I knew it would take time to form these same relationships, but I didn't think I would still feel like an outsider after all this time. I am not an outgoing person and find it hard to push myself into a conversation and then find a way to make a relationship last longer than the next school activity, soccer practice or swim meet.
Maybe I am not lost, but my social life is. 'I don't know how to break this rut I am in, but I need to find a way, soon, or I may lose my mind.
Or maybe this is nothing but a hormonally induced meltdown.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
That Child
Every educator, and possibly every parent, knows that child. This is the child that other children feed off of; the child whose presence alone can create a certain energy in the classroom; the child who when absent, the dynamic of the classroom completely changes-often for the better.
I discovered the other day that my child is that child.
Sarah had forgotten an item in her classroom the other afternoon and we went back to get it. Her teacher was still in the classroom as was Sarah's best friend and her mother and a few other kids. The adults got to talking and the conversation revolved around the kids recent behavior. Sarah missed the morning due to a doctor's appointment. Mr. L, her teacher, indicated to me that the entire class was different that morning. My friend Lynn commented that she was so amazed when she walked her daughter Grace into the class. Grace has always talked about how noisy it is in class first thing in the morning, but that morning, everyone was quietly working. Mr . L had noticed the same thing and stated very matter-of-factly that it was due to Sarah's absence. She is a ring leader and they feed off of her behavior.
I knew my child was a social child, but I had no idea she was that child.
I discovered the other day that my child is that child.
Sarah had forgotten an item in her classroom the other afternoon and we went back to get it. Her teacher was still in the classroom as was Sarah's best friend and her mother and a few other kids. The adults got to talking and the conversation revolved around the kids recent behavior. Sarah missed the morning due to a doctor's appointment. Mr. L, her teacher, indicated to me that the entire class was different that morning. My friend Lynn commented that she was so amazed when she walked her daughter Grace into the class. Grace has always talked about how noisy it is in class first thing in the morning, but that morning, everyone was quietly working. Mr . L had noticed the same thing and stated very matter-of-factly that it was due to Sarah's absence. She is a ring leader and they feed off of her behavior.
I knew my child was a social child, but I had no idea she was that child.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Weigh in Wednesday...or Friday!
Ok, It's Friday and not Wednesday, but I have been so busy at home and at work that I just haven't had a chance to post for this week (or last week!) until today. I am home with a not-so-sick sick child and have time to actually get things done!
Last week I had a savage head cold and the decongestant that I took (that I probably shouldn't have since I'm still nursing) caused me to pee out (TMI sorry) 2lbs in 2 days, so I didn't really count last weeks weight loss as real. So this week I am down .8 since 2 weeks ago, for a total of 3.6 since Jan. 2. Not exactly where I wanted to be since I was hoping for 5-6 lbs down by now, but a loss is a loss!
Looking forward to continuing this meager weight loss until April. By then the baby will be almost 12 months and less dependent on my milk during the day.
Last week I had a savage head cold and the decongestant that I took (that I probably shouldn't have since I'm still nursing) caused me to pee out (TMI sorry) 2lbs in 2 days, so I didn't really count last weeks weight loss as real. So this week I am down .8 since 2 weeks ago, for a total of 3.6 since Jan. 2. Not exactly where I wanted to be since I was hoping for 5-6 lbs down by now, but a loss is a loss!
Looking forward to continuing this meager weight loss until April. By then the baby will be almost 12 months and less dependent on my milk during the day.
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