finally

When we bought this house 4 years ago, we were a little disappointed to be leaving our brand new fridge behind for all old appliances. It didn't take long for the washer and dryer to die. We replaced them with the larger, more efficient front loaders.

About a year later, we noticed the dishes were coming out of the dishwasher almost as dirty as they went in. We hit the sales at Sears and purchased a stainless steel dishwasher with hidden controls. I loved the look and figured that we would slowly replace all the appliances to match.

In December 2008, I came home to find water on the floor in the kitchen. The 14+ year old fridge was dying. Since we were about to leave for the Christmas holidays, I was rushed to find a replacement ASAP. The last thing I wanted was to come home from a trip to find a fridge of spoiled food and a warped wood floor in the kitchen. So, I found a stainless model that matched pretty well with the dishwasher.

This spring, a few of the burners on the stove finally died and the oven didn't seem to be regulating the temperature well. After a few dozen burnt cookies, we realized we had to bite the bullet again and purchase yet another appliance. Once again, we headed to Sears and I picked out an awesome stove with 5 burners and a warming drawer and convection oven. I had been monitoring prices and managed to get it at the cheapest I've seen before, or since. In order to complete the set, we also purchased the matching micro hood.

I was thrilled to finally have matching appliances for the first time EVER. No more white fridge, black dishwasher and cream stove!

We had the stove installed-you know what with the pesky gas line and everything. But we figured we could handle a microwave! after discovering that the range hood was hardwired into the electrical system and the micro hood required an outlet, we put it on hold. One of Pat's co-workers was solicited to help install the thing, but one thing after another kept getting in the way. I was about to give up hope. The gigantic box sat on the floor of the dining room for 3 months.

Today, after a shitty day dealing with emotional issues, abuse, and thoughts of suicide (not mine, but a student's) I came home to this-




It is so beautiful.

And my husband is so wonderful for getting it done, finally!

busy

Spring is always so busy. There are soccer practices and soccer games, T-ball practices and T-ball games. School events and swim team registration, choir practice and brownie meetings. It is exhausting. I've meant to post so much in the last month, but never seem to have the time, or energy, to do so.

The school year is winding down, as are many of the girls' activities. This weekend, the holiday gave us the opportunity to take a break from the hustle and bustle and just enjoy the good weather. We spent time with family and went swimming twice this weekend. Both of the big girls had swimming play dates today, and fell into bed exhausted!

Emma is fearless when it comes to the water. She loves it with almost reckless abandon! Last summer she would jump into the water without any care for whether or not there was anyone to catch her. This spring she took lessons and we discovered that with age, she has learned to be somewhat cautious. Now that she remembers how much fun the pool is, she is back to thinking she can swim. She jumps into me without a care, then squirms to get away from me as though she can really swim. She sinks down and has a slight panicked look on her face, but when I pull her back up, she just smiles and wipes her eyes! It truly amazes me how different she is from the other two at the same age.

Clearly, I will not have a relaxing summer ahead of me!

6.10

I know that I am way behind on an Earth Day post, but when the aha moment hits, you gotta go with it.

In keeping with my running theme of numbers as blog post titles this month, today's is 6.10.

6.10 represents my family's ecological footprint. I took this quiz, and discovered that while I feel like we do a lot for the environment, we still suck. 6.10 means that if everyone on the planet lived like we do, we would need 6.10 earths.

I recycle everything that I can, but I know that I could be reducing the amount of things that come into my house need to be recycled. While I am proud of the fact that my big blue bin (for paper recycling) is full every week, It really shouldn't be. I have tried to cut down on the amount of paper and packaging that comes into house, but it is an ongoing, never achievable task.

After spending years thinking about it, I have finally decided to get a compost bin. I am amazed at how much kitchen scraps I throw away or run down the disposal. It is time I do something about it!

With spring here and my garden ready for planting, I have decided that this will be the year I get a little bit greener. Here are the two bins I've been thinking about:

The Earthmaker composter has a 3 compartment system where I think it will be easier and faster to compost my waste.

The Deluxe Pyramid composter is one big open bin that I think will take forever to fill enough for it to start breaking the waste down for compost. However it is cheaper, but requires more turning of the compost. Decisions, Decisions.

After deliberation with Pat this morning, I think I've decided on the 3 chamber Earthmaker. Now I just have to order it and figure out where to put it in the yard. I have a small back yard with limited flat space, so I am not sure where it will go.

***I haven't ordered it yet, so if anyone has any advice for me, I'd LOVE to hear it!***

six

Today, my oh-so-middle child turns six.

Evidently, six is a big birthday. Megan has been planning and talking about this birthday for months. We have been told that she does not want a gift from all of us combined, she expects a gift from each person. I am to have pizza, cake and cupcakes (I don't understand that one) and little cups of ice cream for all the guests at her party next weekend. She knows exactly what she wants and will not be happy if it doesn't go her way.

That is most definitely Megan.

Six years ago she came into this world on her own time table...fast as hell! I was admitted at 3am and she was born at 3:45. She has been calling the shots ever since!

My hard drive crashed a few years ago and sadly I don't have all the pictures from her first days. Here's the best I can do:

Megan at 3 months

Megan today, opening her gift

After a birthday dinner at Cheeburger Cheeburger, we came home and she opened her gift. Yes, she did receive a group gift, a DSi that she has been wanting for MONTHS. She was beyond thrilled!

two

Emma turned two yesterday.

Blowing out the candle on her Carvel ice cream cake.

Must get every last drop

I am not sure where the past two years have gone. I cannot believe that my baby is now two years old. My sweet Emma has turned into an amazing little girl with loads of personality, just like her big sisters. She talks up a storm from the moment she wakes until the moment her head hits the pillow, and sometimes after that! She is exhausting, but I can't imagine life without her.

How did we get
From This

To This

eleven

Eleven years ago, I married my best friend.

Corny, I know, but true.

Lately, my friends and I have been talking about marriage and relationships a lot. Throughout these conversations, I have come to realize that while my marriage is good, it is not great. I have absolutely no doubt that my husband loves and respects me and I trust him completely. However, I don't think we are running on all the cylinders (is that even the right metaphor?).

We love our children, but they have taken over our lives. We rarely have a conversation that doesn't involve the almost daily activity pick-up/drop-off schedule. We can't have an adult conversation without being interrupted while the kids are awake. By the time they are asleep, we are barely conscious ourselves. I am convinced that we need some time to reconnect as a couple without the kids around.

We keep saying we need to get away for a weekend, or even a night, and dedicate some time to us. Unfortunately, we just keep plodding along never able to steal the time to do so.

By no means is our marriage in trouble, but I really feel that it could be so much better. I am determined to make this coming 12th year of marriage the year where we get a chance to reconnect.

What are we doing to celebrate our anniversary this year, you ask? Absolutely nothing! Pat is working tonight and I will be home alone with the girls. He told me that they Popeye's chicken we had for lunch with the girls after a morning of soccer and t-ball was my anniversary meal. Clearly, we need to dedicate some time to getting the romance back!

Signal 13

Early Easter Sunday morning, Hector Ayala was killed in a one car collision as he rushed to the aid of a Signal 13. A fellow officer who was responding to a fight call at a nearby restaurant needed assistance and called for a "Signal 13"-the police code for an officer in trouble. When this code goes out, all officers know that one of their brothers may be in a life or death situation and all effort is made to render assistance quickly.

Officer Ayala lost his life trying to save another. From what I have heard, this was par for the course for this amazing man. He touched so many lives in his short seven-year tenure as a Montgomery County Police Officer, including saving the life of a man attempting to commit suicide at the Glenmont Metro Station. He worked the midnight shift, but often came out on his off time to help translate Spanish for fellow officers. He was devoted to his wife and 15 month old son; coworkers described how happy he was to learn that he and his wife were expecting triplets this June.

As the wife of a police officer, this is hard to process.

As long as I have known Pat, I have had to struggle with the idea of him being put in harm's way; when we met he was already attending the police academy. Of course, I had no idea that early on that I would become his wife. I had no real idea what that would mean.

While we were dating and definitely after we got engaged, people would often ask me if I were scared for him, or I ever worried when he worked? They were difficult questions to answer. I would answer of yes, I worried, but I couldn't let it consume me. But, I didn't find myself worrying as often as other people seemed to think I should. I hadn't really be faced with anything that had caused me to worry too much, I guess I was in denial.

A few months into our marriage, I received a phone call from Pat's Sergeant that brought it all home to me. He called to tell me that Pat was on his way home and to "not freak out if he was covered in blood-he was ok." WHAT!?! How do you not freak out to that? A signal 13 had been called for a County officer responding to a domestic situation. While it was out of Pat's jurisdiction, he was one of the first on the scene. When Pat arrived home, he was NOT covered in blood, but did have some on his shoes. He filled me in on what happened and it felt good to know the whole story. That was the first time I remember being faced with the fact that at any time he could be that fallen officer.

Since then, there have been a few more local police deaths, including a young man that Pat attended the Police Academy with. Each one tugs at my heart and reminds me how quickly things could change.

As a police wife, I have learned that there are two types of police marriages. One in which the officer talks to his spouse about his or her day and gives them a glimpse into what they go through. The other, where there is a clear and distinct separation of work and home life. Mine is the former, more rare type of marriage. Many officers believe because it would make it too scary for those at home and would bring the stress of their job into their home. I believe to the contrary.

Maybe it is because I am a counselor by profession, or maybe it is just because of who we are as people and the mutual trust and respect we have for each other, but Pat and I couldn't imagine our marriage without full disclosure. Especially now that he is in a management role, Pat often runs situations past me and we bounce ideas back and forth. He recommends to his officers to keep their spouses informed to relieve the stress of the job. Unfortunately, not a whole lot of them follow his advice. I am a firm believer that ignorance breeds fear; if we have no idea what is going on, we build up an amazing fear of what could be going on instead of what is really happening. I am sure, Pat keeps some things to himself, and that is fine. But hearing about the types of calls he goes on and the way he handles situations, helps me to know the type of officer he is and that he has the skills to keep himself and those around him safe.

Thankfully, when he reached the rank of Sergeant, the amount of actual street time decreased. Now that he is a Lieutenant, it is even less. However, there is always that fear and concern in the back of my mind (and his) that keeps us on our toes. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't offer up a silent prayer for his (and his brothers in blue) safety.

My heart goes out to the Ayala family and especially his wife. Thank God for the kindness of legislators and strangers that there is financial help for the families of officers who die in the line of duty. Both the Federal and State governments have set up compensation for the families and COPS (Concerns of Police Survivors)does a wonderful job of providing many services to the family. There is also a fund set up by the Fraternal Order of Police Lodge 35 to aid the family.

In Memoriam:

Officer Hector Ayala

Badge Number 2128

End of Watch 4/4/2010