Friday, October 1, 2010


Last week was a bad week for two friends of mine.

As a counselor, I am used to hearing bad news, and helping people through a crisis. However, it is sometimes much harder when it is people you know. And when the crisis they are gong through is one that you haven't even come close to experiencing yourself.

One of my closest girlfriends at work called in sick last Tuesday. I assumed it was something with her little one, until she came into work the next day. It turns out her 2 year old was fine. Instead, she informed me, she had suffered a miscarriage. Since she was 12 weeks along, we all had thought she was in the "safe zone". She was devastated--is devastated. She is in so much pain, and is trying to find ways to overcome it. She hasn't talked much about it, because she says it hurts too much. She feels as though her husband just doesn't understand the connection she already felt with this baby. She had named it, thought about how she would decorate the nursery, made plans that now she has to put on hold. She struggled to get pregnant with her first child and it took a while for this pregnancy to come to be as well. She knows she is older and things aren't going to get easier. I am sure this experience has also opened fresh wounds from her first pregnancy-she initially was pregnant with twins, but due to serious medical complications, she had to selectively reduce one of the babies. Thankfully, I haven't lost a pregnancy, nor have I had to make the devastating choice to save one child over another. I can't imagine what she is going through, and I hope that my open arms, open heart , and caring ear has, and will continue, to help her in the grieving process.

Another woman, who I consider a friend, even though we have never met face to face, is going through a horribly painful, life shattering divorce. She has been struggling with so many issues for so many months, only to learn of horrendous betrayal that multiplied last week. It is much harder to offer support over the many miles between us. I send encouraging words and positive thoughts her way, and take comfort in knowing that she has an incredible circle of friends to lean on during her darkest hours. The written word, through tweets and emails, is not always the best way to express oneself. I struggle to find the right combination of words to express my concern, and support.

It is times like these where I wish I had a magic wand to take away the deep pain that both of these women and their families are struggling with.

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